Fan

Song of the moment: One Day at a Time by Die Trying


I am now a Die Trying fan. The concert last night was awesome. This huge bitch pushed me into the mosh pit, which was the GREATEST THING EVER. Can you imagine a little Asian girl moshing with big, sweaty men? Yeah, that was me. I got punched twice, and I must have punched all of the girls that were in there. I really wanted to get into a fight that evening, but sadly, I failed. *weeps in vain*


I'm working tommorow from 10 AM to 5:30. Fun. There's also going to be fireworks at the Boardwalk tommorow (or so I hear). I think it's Santa Cruz's birthday or something. Heh. I've been living here for 9 years and I still don't know anything about the history of Santa Cruz. *looks at the counter* Wow, the last time I checked that thing out, I had 60 visitors. This new counter is nifty. It doesn't count how many times people visit my journal, it counts how many people visit it, I.E., their IP adresses. Pretty cool.


Anywho. Well, today was interesting.


During Cisco Networking


As my head slowly descended towards the floor, my eyes feeling as if they weigh a hundred pounds and my body shutting down, I started to fall asleep. Mr. Mejia's voice was a faint little echo inside my head as my attention was more focused on trying to stay awake and on this planet. I hear a loud scream inside my head... not just loud, but creepy loud. Like someone was raped or brutally slaughtered. I jerked, now sitting stiffly up on my chair, once again looking at Mr. Mejia lecturing on the whiteboard. I look at Lorraine taking notes, and then down to my feet. I asked myself what happened.... was there really a scream, or was it just me: did it just occur in my head, reflecting the confusing, insane complications in my life, or am I just crazy? I told Lorraine what happened and she laughed. I laughed nervously with her.



Later, at my house


I arrive home from school, thinking everything was fine. I reach for the door to get into my house and realize it was unlocked. My brother's car wasn't there, neither was my mom's. In fact, no one was home. I ask my mom and sister about this now, and they could have sworn the door was locked when they left. Now, my family isn't the kind that trust our neighbors completely. We are always locking doors behind us, even if we just step outside for a short trip or a short walk to our car. I myself am not even sure if the door was locked in the first place, I could have just dreamnt it all up.


When I stepped inside, I inserted the Chicago DVD my sister and I rented a few days ago. I wanted to finish the second half, since I fell asleep the first time I watched it. Towards the end, I suddenly felt drowsy and blinked for what felt like a millionth of a second. Four hours later, I see my sister sitting in front of me, facing the T.V. watching Friends. I was kind of wierded out, I didn't even know I fell asleep. Looking at the window to the outside world, I thought it was early in the morning but then I realized that they wouldn't show Friends that early in the morning.


I stepped outside for a second to get some fresh air and saw a black raven stalking a white cat. Maybe not stalking, but mocking. It was sort of haunting it and squaking ever so fiendishly. I tried to scare the crow away, but it wouldn't leave. The cat stayed there, also. It sat down and started up at me for two whole minutes with innocent blue eyes, head tilted, and walked away. The crow was gone with the cat and just disappeared. Shivers down my back, I went back inside.


My mom, sister and I watched the movie, The Talented Mr. Ripley right before I went upstairs to check my mail. When the movie was over, I walked up the dark stairs, not thinking of turning the hall lights on. As I reached the top, I could have sworn I saw a white presence in the shadows of the bathroom door, so I turned the lights on. There was nothing there.


So now, here I sit once again in the dark, typing. I haven't been online much, and AIM is far from my interests now a days. Everyone talks about the same thing day after day and it gets old. It really does. I don't know why I'm sitting here in darkness. There's a perfectly good lamp right next to me, why am I not interested on turning it on? Why am I not afraid of the dark anymore? Why am I no longer afraid....?


Don't worry, my new-found happiness is still here. The quick change amongst the attitudes of my mom and sister are slowly going back to the way it was before: they're slowly turning back into their bitchy, PMSing selves. But I don't care anymore, I really don't. I'm trying to have as much patience as I can and it's turning out well. It really is. It's funny, during the day I seem so tired but now I'm as lively as ever. Maybe it's because I had that long nap earlier that I no longer feel tired.


Alas.... I shouldn't trust myself that I will no longer feel tired later on, because I know I will. I have work at 10 and I should be responsible and go to sleep early. Perhap's I'll read a few chapters (meaning 7 or 8) in my book tonight before I fall asleep. *ponders* I would read in the dark, if I could. I wish I had nocturnal eyes. That would be grand.


'Til next time,


Mila